Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
