Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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