youre lurking in front of me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
