Me too!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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