I hate all girls vehemently.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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