Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
