Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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