i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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