why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
