I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
