HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
