She announced her abortion via fbk
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How's work?
Spinning.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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