Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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