Need sex. Gaining weight.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
