You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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