If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize