if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
