Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize