I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
