Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize