why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
