Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it was like eating out sand paper
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
