it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he was CRYING into my vagina
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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