And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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