Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
