We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
