i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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