I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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