yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
