ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
