it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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