I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
