I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
