It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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