guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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