just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
