He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
