omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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