It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
