if i can run in heels then i can drive
babies were throwing up all over the place
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
