Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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