I hope mine doesn't look like that
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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