Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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