Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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