So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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