when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There are leaves in my underwear?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
