Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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