Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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