just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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