If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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