You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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