There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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