After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize
