I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
