It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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