You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize