I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All I want is dick and wine.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
