I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize