At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
