Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
