Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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