And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
