Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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